Lexi learns to be a Horseman

Lexi has been visiting me on occasion since she was 3, and her first ride on a horse was one of our herd. Lexi's mum is a strong advocate, as am I, for animals as friends not slaves, and learns with me also. Lexi is fortunate, and experiences friendship and joy with horses. Lexi, and her peers are the leading edge of Horse-Human relationships, and will inherit a world of equality and love, rather than the place of abuse we found when we got here.

I really don't like kids being lifted onto horses and led around as if the horse were a sideshow ride. Lexi has been playing with horses since she was born, and learning to treat them as equals. When Lexi gets on I assist her, but she asks the horse to assist her too. We spent some time this day at the gate Lexi climbed, and asking Whiskey to get closer as she had difficulty reaching the saddle from her position on the gate. When astride Whiskey, we played to ensure she was able to keep a conversation going with him (children's minds wander), and asked Whiskey if he was willing to fulfill Lexi's desires with her, such as walking to different objects, changing direction etc. Note Lexi has no reins, and no need to complicate her ability to learn to be a real Horseman if she learns to think they are necessary. Can you see how I am able to guide Lexi in her life learning? Even When distracted by Katelyn ( a working student here at Heartland) and the camera, Whiskey can cling to my contained, focussed energy, rather than all manner of behaviours that would possibly harm Lexi or himself.

Here Lexi wanted to play with the obstacles, when Whiskey drifted in attention, Lexi learns it is necessary to get it back before she makes any requests, otherwise she will grow up like the rest of us, learning to ask a disconnected horse, and when it doesn't respond, an increase in pressure, to a kick, is administered. That would be treating the horse like a slave, and is a controlling behaviour, unnatural to us, originating in fear. Lexi is using her voice, "Whiskey," and getting the balance right with the odd tap. Like any small child, Lexi can sometimes overdo the tap! Her challnge is she listens to adults instructing her, rather than the very horse she is astride, and becoming one with. I try to keep my interference to a minimum, and we have mastered keeping mum quieter! I also don't want to punish Lexi for over-zealous tapping, as the horse will let her know how much is too much, and their conversation that is real, experiential, is so much more valuable than any words I can confuse her with.

Lexi likes to talk, and I listen and we can include Whiskey in the conversation. We are always thinking about what would Lexi or Whiskey like to do next, then we get focussed as a team so that it happens right away. More discussions. Team meetings are great! Rex joins in too, and Whiskey was happy to oblige, and rewarded. His reward is the harmony he feels when in our company, a very attractive thing, good feelings. Treats occasionally too.  

Lexi worked hard to fulfill this aim. Whiskey didn't automatically assume she wanted him to mount the pallet, because her attempts to listen to some advice from me, and her natural tendency to look around the environment for stimulating things to look at caused her communication with Whiskey to be fuzzy. I encouraged her to tune-in, and we have been playing games in lessons about focussing on an intent until the horse tunes in to your overwhelming emanation, and fulfils your request. Of course for Lexi, who's only 4, remember, I just repeat the games of look at ... and we get there, over and over, so she understands how to focus, and manifest. Eventually Lexi bounced her horse friend around the pallet until she'd had enough experience at not getting what she wanted, to clear her thoughts and posture enough to start focussing on what she really wanted, and Whiskey obliged.

Lexi knows she doesn't get to sit on horses unless she is relating with them first. As a four year old, Lexi cannot be expected to remember the endless words poured at her every day instructing her to "do this, don't do that..." and so on. I don't teach this way anymore, anyway. Instead we have some simple concepts to stick with, the horse is not a toy, nor obligated to make you happy. If you play with him you will feel happy, and he will feel happy too, in your reflected joy, if not his own. As the teacher I watch these two interact, and if Lexi is vulnerable at any point I can intervene if necessary. When I can sense the two are in closer harmony, permission is granted for Lexi to sit on Whiskey, and we can add to her experiences as she learns and grows.

This is the moment mum thinks "pick up the dragging rope," but I know Whiskey won't tread on it, or her, and don't want to interfere in the building harmony by trying to prevent disharmony. If I intervene, I'll spoil the moment. I can't teach a child to know a dragging rope is cumbersome and potentially dangerous by repeating in an ever increasing tone of fear, "DON'T..." I can allow her to learn with a horse who is friendly and trustworthy, caring and befriended, that there are easier ways to play.

Sometimes we include mum in the team. Mum is very important! I must explain to mum what Lexi is learning, as I realise what she is learning, and my reasons for the decisions we make at each point, such as a choice to ignore the over-zealous tapping to get Whiskeys' attention. This day my intuition told me so much good was coming about in Lexi from learning to focus and harmonise with Whiskey, which has been the work of several lessons, that we could introduce the lessons about sensitivity to tapping later. It's not like Lexi has been given a piece of metal attached to the horses teeth and gums, or a whip, or a frightened, controlling attitude. Whiskey is cool with the taps and bumps. He got worse from his mother...

Lexi has learned to ask Whiskey to increase his energy to trot by eminating the feeling as she gets the desire. Of course that means I have to feel this emanation for now too, and save money on gym membership... 

Lexi is slowly learning to rise trot. There is no rush, she doesn't hurt Whiskey. We play with the concept like a dance, one-two, one-two.

And we dance off into the distance. Want to join us?